Why is this “Super Shirtless Saturday”? Because I will be posting a handful of shirtless pro-wrestlers today and what better way to honor their athleticism and theatrical skills by describing them as “super”?
The BearMythology look has been updated again by your finicky and oft-absent blogger. Also, based on numerous suggestions, I will finally get with the 21st Century and start placing “Continue Reading” links on every post for easier reading consumption…
Anyway, my great friend, GE, sent me a link to a video that gave me a heart attack (I wonder how many heart attacks I’ve had during the course of this blog’s lifespan?): it is a video of pro-wrestler, Mark Henry, wearing only skimpy bright red speedos! Seriously, why can’t he wrestle with this type of outfit?! [KEEP ON WOOFIN’!]
Dear ESPN Magazine: OMG. Thank you!
I was pretty harsh on ESPN Magazine’s 2010’s “The Body Issue” when Steven Holcomb’s godly physique was digitally altered. However, thanks to GE, he pinpointed me to ESPN Magazine’s “The Body Issue 2009: Battle Scars” which featured a close-up of Casey Hampton’s magnificent belly. Needless to say, seeing an almost-nude image of Mr. Hampton is an excellent way to win someone like me over — even though this was shot a year before the Holcomb-Gate fiasco. ^___^
Here is the link to the Flash Gallery of “The Body Issue 2009: Battle Scars”:
I can’t seem to embed this ESPN video, but you can briefly see him in an interview with all of the athletes — including Randy Couture — involved in that photo shoot.
Unfortunately, the Pittsburgh Steelers did not win the SuperBowl this year, so we’re gonna miss out on seeing a shirtless Casey Hampton at a SuperBowl Parade… 😦
The NFL is currently in a sticky bind trying to create a balanced and fair “harsh penalty” for players who would flagrantly hit and intentionally harm other players [ESPN]. I have been following this news and it basically resembles any workplace where management has no clue whatsoever what their employees would go through in their respective jobs. A frustrated defensive player who is being forced to make a split-second decision about the safety of his opponent is no different from any corporate America employee being told by management what to do when they haven’t even experienced their employees’ jobs firsthand at all.
In short, a sure-fire way to have a disgruntled employee is to make his or her job difficult. That’s pretty much the case with any human interactions, whether it be in sports, work, school, and, well, anything else.
However interesting that may be (lol), I am far more concerned with a much sinister and heinous argument that just might bring the NFL to even lower depths: people complaining about the increased exposure of armpits on the football field!
Paul Lukas has a hilarious commentary in his “Uni Watch” segment in ESPN.com called “Simply stated, these jerseys are the pits”:
Of course, being an Armpit Aficionado I am completely against his rally cry against the increased exposure of armpits in the NFL. To combat this, I will selectively choose some of Mr. Lukas’ points so that I could easily contradict him.
Let us begin our battle of “pits,” shall we?
But some players have been pushing the sleeveless style past the limits of visual propriety. For years, the poster child for this look has been Chris Hovan, who’s basically had his jersey tailored like a tank top, revealing more of his body than Uni Watch (or, most likely, anyone) wants to see.
Au contraire, Pepe Le Pew. The NFL is stacked to the brim with magnificent and imposing behemoths whose muscular and stocky builds are completely encumbered by needless jerseys, shoulder pads, and helmets. These men are our living mythical giants who, on any given Sunday, push their strengths and endurance to the limits for our entertainment. They are the wonders of our modern age, gladiators of a brutal sport, and the glue that binds people together as well as a polarizer of cities & communities. That being said, it would be totally awesome if football players were just shirtless. So, yes, there are people out there who actually respect and admire the human form. If a football player like Chris Hovan tailors his jersey like a tanktop, then that’s just a bonus for us fans and non-fans alike. Yes, there are people out there who appreciate Hovan’s armpits. As much as you probably enjoy watching the Lingerie Football League.
3. Ixnay on the exflay. Tired of the recent trend of players flexing like bodybuilders? That’s yet another byproduct of the faux sleeves. Wouldn’t be happening if the players’ upper arms were covered.
Seriously? Your number 3 reason for banning exposed armpits is because it would cause more football players to flex their muscles? And let’s just say that it’s true that all men in the world who wear sleeveless shirts severely suffer from Acute-Muscle-Flexing-Syndrome-Because-I’m-Wearing-A-Wifebeater, then what exactly is wrong with that? Men, especially men of the bigger variety, have the right to be proud of their bodies and strength. Of course there is a time and place to do so, in regards to sportsmanship versus showmanship, but please don’t blame the sleeveless jersey for causing men’s inherent desire to display their Alpha Maleness.
Okay. Now that I have conveniently avoided responding to Mr. Lukas’ finer & compelling points, let me pleasantly end my needless rant with a cavalcade of photos of Chris Hovan’s magnificent and spectacular armpits…
And to end on a finer rose-scented note, here is the Hovan family… Wow. I just love this image.
Rick Zumwalt’s character “Bull Hurley” has been a major factor and influence in my realization that I was attracted towards big and burly men. His larger-than-life portrayal of a very intimidating and powerful arm wrestler is forever embedded in my memory: the red tanktop, the bald head, the thick & sweaty biceps, the perfect goatee, and his aggressively cocky demeanor were the physical features and personality traits that fueled my imagination and “sexual awakening,” if you will.
Well, today, I’d like to introduce to you Mr. Radu “Valahu” Georgescu or as I’d like to think of him as The Romanian Bull Hurley Version 2.0. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Rick Zumwalt may not be physically in this world anymore, but there will be people (from past, present, and future) who will always possess such amazingly similar traits. Radu may not be bald nor possess a goatee, but what a trade-off with that spectacular beard! Jury’s still out with the bandanas though…
Those screenshots from the collage were taken from this YouTube video:
And speaking of my coincidental Bull Hurley comparison, here is Hurley wearing a yellow tanktop and Radu wearing a yellow shirt! OMG like that is so true!
[Related Posts – Rick Zumwalt]
Once upon a time, when this blogger used to actually blog on a regular basis, he had put up a “Shirtless Saturday” post about a massive lineman for the New Orleans Saints, Sedrick Ellis. After a year and a few months later, he found out that LIFE Magazine did a photo shoot of him (unfortunately, their search engine is not too friendly; and a way to get to just 1 of his photo shoot is by going to this url). And I am begging all of the photo sleuths out there who could direct us to his Portrait Session as it would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, let us now have the photos do the talking, for I am downright speechless…
He’s not shirtless in this video, but you can just see the majestic wonder of his ungodly physique as his massive bulk attempts to escape the confines of his tight-fitting shirt…
Pablo Sandoval is a baseball player for the San Francisco Giants who has quite an apt nickname of “Kung-Fu Panda” (or “Pandoval”). He got this nickname for being a speedy husky athlete. Tonight is the National League Playoffs between the Giants and the Philadelphia Phillies. Unfortunately, Pablo is benched for tonight’s game and I’m not sure if he’s playing through the rest of the playoffs.
Here’s an adorable video of Pablo being interviewed by FOX’s Chris Rose:
Okay, before you guys and gals get mad at me for posting that animated gif, I just have this ridiculous fascination with people tripping. Karma has rained down her vengeance upon me because I now have weak legs. Serves me right, I suppose. Still, I can’t stop laughing at the cuteness of the Kung-Fu Panda tripping — plus, seeing his thick body in full-speed action before the fall is worth the price of admission… 😛
But, seriously, here are more photos of the handsome Pablo Sandoval…
And, finally, I really have no other thoughts about these final two photos… 😛
And, after all that, I must inject some personal opinion to end this: GO PHILLIES! (and I’m a Yankees fan)… 😉