The NFL is currently in a sticky bind trying to create a balanced and fair “harsh penalty” for players who would flagrantly hit and intentionally harm other players [ESPN]. I have been following this news and it basically resembles any workplace where management has no clue whatsoever what their employees would go through in their respective jobs. A frustrated defensive player who is being forced to make a split-second decision about the safety of his opponent is no different from any corporate America employee being told by management what to do when they haven’t even experienced their employees’ jobs firsthand at all.
In short, a sure-fire way to have a disgruntled employee is to make his or her job difficult. That’s pretty much the case with any human interactions, whether it be in sports, work, school, and, well, anything else.
However interesting that may be (lol), I am far more concerned with a much sinister and heinous argument that just might bring the NFL to even lower depths: people complaining about the increased exposure of armpits on the football field!
Paul Lukas has a hilarious commentary in his “Uni Watch” segment in ESPN.com called “Simply stated, these jerseys are the pits”:
Of course, being an Armpit Aficionado I am completely against his rally cry against the increased exposure of armpits in the NFL. To combat this, I will selectively choose some of Mr. Lukas’ points so that I could easily contradict him.
Let us begin our battle of “pits,” shall we?
But some players have been pushing the sleeveless style past the limits of visual propriety. For years, the poster child for this look has been Chris Hovan, who’s basically had his jersey tailored like a tank top, revealing more of his body than Uni Watch (or, most likely, anyone) wants to see.
Au contraire, Pepe Le Pew. The NFL is stacked to the brim with magnificent and imposing behemoths whose muscular and stocky builds are completely encumbered by needless jerseys, shoulder pads, and helmets. These men are our living mythical giants who, on any given Sunday, push their strengths and endurance to the limits for our entertainment. They are the wonders of our modern age, gladiators of a brutal sport, and the glue that binds people together as well as a polarizer of cities & communities. That being said, it would be totally awesome if football players were just shirtless. So, yes, there are people out there who actually respect and admire the human form. If a football player like Chris Hovan tailors his jersey like a tanktop, then that’s just a bonus for us fans and non-fans alike. Yes, there are people out there who appreciate Hovan’s armpits. As much as you probably enjoy watching the Lingerie Football League.
3. Ixnay on the exflay. Tired of the recent trend of players flexing like bodybuilders? That’s yet another byproduct of the faux sleeves. Wouldn’t be happening if the players’ upper arms were covered.
Seriously? Your number 3 reason for banning exposed armpits is because it would cause more football players to flex their muscles? And let’s just say that it’s true that all men in the world who wear sleeveless shirts severely suffer from Acute-Muscle-Flexing-Syndrome-Because-I’m-Wearing-A-Wifebeater, then what exactly is wrong with that? Men, especially men of the bigger variety, have the right to be proud of their bodies and strength. Of course there is a time and place to do so, in regards to sportsmanship versus showmanship, but please don’t blame the sleeveless jersey for causing men’s inherent desire to display their Alpha Maleness.
Okay. Now that I have conveniently avoided responding to Mr. Lukas’ finer & compelling points, let me pleasantly end my needless rant with a cavalcade of photos of Chris Hovan’s magnificent and spectacular armpits…
And to end on a finer rose-scented note, here is the Hovan family… Wow. I just love this image.
I was sorting through my emails when I noticed an email from Billy Villegas and I literally fainted. After recuperating, I read through the email and I was glad to hear that he and his wife enjoyed my post about him. Not only do I already think that Billy is way cool for all the right reasons, he then tells me that he’s involved with this PSA video about the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act:
Thank you, Mr. Villegas. I am grateful to always find heterosexual folks taking the time to support equal rights for the LGBT community. Thank you very much…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
We finally got to see some video footage of John Marcotte from RescueMarriage.org. You might not recognize him with hair and sans sunglasses, but his undeniably woofy looks are not to be disputed. I really can’t wait to see what happens to his ballot proposal in outlawing divorce in California…
Thanks to everyone who have emailed me about John Marcotte and his quest to get a voter’s initiative on the California 2010 ballot called the “2010 California Marriage Protection Act.” If it gets passed, registered voters from California will have the opportunity to finally cement a complete and utter protection to “Traditional Marriage.” Check out boingboing for more info.
His website RescueMarriage.org must be visited by everyone, especially by our friends who oppose same-sex marriage. Here are some choice snippets from his site…
I’m Catholic. My faith teaches me that divorce is a sin. I don’t believe that the government should be indoctrinating our children — telling them that divorce is “cool” or “legally permissible.” That type of moral decision should be taught within the confines of the family. It is not the government’s job to teach our children what to think about the morality of divorce.
* * * * *
Jesus says getting divorced is a sin:
9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.
11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.
Interestingly, Jesus never once even mentioned homosexuals or homosexual behavior. I assume this was some sort of clerical oversight that will be rectified during the end of days as described in the Book of Revelation. Perhaps during Satan’s 1,000 year reign. I’ll get back to you on that one.
Awesome. Just awesome.
Pass this news to everyone…
And in related bear news, how seriously hot is John Marcotte? Thank you, Mr. Marcotte. Thank you very much…
[DISCLAIMER: First of all, though I might have the film “Bruno” as a sponsor ad, please realize that it’s an ad that you are free to click on. Furthermore, if you did click on it, all of the ad revenue goes to “The Children’s Miracle Network.” I’m only mentioning this because I will make grandiose statements — such as “Brüno” is “the greatest gay film ever made” — without sounding like a sell-out…]
Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius. He managed to transform a completely shallow, hypersexualized, & cartoonish gay character in to someone we end up rooting for. He also managed to show us the other side of homophobic people: they are very compassionate folks who just happened to be conservative with anything sexual. And, more importantly, Mr. Cohen just placed a mirror in all of our faces as to just how shallow, hypersexualized, and cartoonish our world really is. From the straights to the gays, to the blacks to the whites, and the religious to the faithless, the world is a melting pot of hypocrisy and fanaticism. Enter Brüno. Quite possibly the greatest gay film ever made that managed to make extensive usage of male genitalia to make his, well, point.
First and foremost, this film is satire. And it’s supposed to be an offensive satire, at that. However, for the life of me, I could not find it offensive at all. I think it’s because Brüno is such an off-the-wall caricature of a sexual deviant that we ultimately find him harmless. He just happened to be gay. He’s basically like a gay Deuce Bigelow of sorts. He’s also like a gay Forrest Gump who travels around the world and succeeds in making a fool out of everyone (if so, do not open his box of chocolates).
The hilarious part is he is completely well-meaning and heartfelt with every single situation he becomes a part of. Regardless of whether a certain scene appears to be more staged than others, you can’t help but both cringe at what Brüno does and say while also fearing for his life. And, to be fair, as much as we end up laughing at the reactions of Brüno’s victims, we also feel sympathetic towards them. It’s unbelievable how Mr. Cohen managed to bring out the compassionate and human side of homophobic people. For example, the “Sex & The City Rednecks” scene (which we have seen countless times) ended up showing these gun-toting country boys being extremely polite and tolerant to the innuendos and advances of an overtly sexual male. In fact, in that very scene, Brüno was definitely the villain of that moment and we can’t help but root on for our victimized trio.
That’s what’s so great about the movie. Everyone is both sympathetic and unsympathetic at the same time.
I mean, the self-defense instructor teaching Brüno how to protect himself from “dildos” (just one of the many gut-busting scenes I had to suffer from) actually called homosexuals “very nice people.” As a gay person, that comment was unexpectedly pleasant and I was glad that scenes such as that were in the movie. It gave a fair and honest light on homophobic people.
Thought that I won’t post anything “bear”-related? Ha!…
Brüno interviews Greg Stamper (Sponsor of a Christian Rock Festival).
Mr. Stamper definitely has his strong beliefs but his earnest explanations are
difficult to disagree with. Or perhaps I’m just blinded by his woof factor. 😉
Be that as it may, the film did not cheap out from exposing the darker side of homophobia. These horrific scenes come at the expense of the mob mentality: the predominantly African-American community in a daytime talk show and the predominantly straight white people in an Ultimate Fighting Championship-like auditorium. I did laugh at these scenes, yet a part of me was genuinely terrified at what heterosexuals felt about homosexuals.
Though the film is not truly offensive, it is 100% obscene. This film definitely pushes its R-rating to the fullest. As a warning, Brüno not only shows his private part, he really shows his private part. Scenes such as that one is probably why GLAAD is not too happy with the film as they claim that it reinforces gay stereotypes. Unfortunately, they are missing this one minor detail: Brüno is, first and foremost, an overtly sexual person. He could have been played by a straight man and the message would still be the same (though it won’t have the same type of impact). GLAAD should just back down as they are only letting the homophobic people know that Brüno’s stereotypes are truly gay stereotypes. They are doing more harm than good.
Surprisingly, there is a story and a message. One that caught me off-guard is that it was a love story. A pretty twisted and bizarre one, but a love story nevertheless. I have officially fallen in love with Lutz (played by Gustaf Hammersten). And throughout Brüno’s travels, he showed us a world of intolerance, shallowness, and the extremities of human sexuality — from the repressed to the overtly sexual. Also, where else can you find a hardcore rapper who says that gay is “okay”?
In short, it’s a great film. It is also truly one of the funniest film I’ve seen this year. Because and despite of its obscenities, it’s a film with a tremendous loving heart that exposes our world as a very funny place. Brüno, with all of his antics and shenanigans to achieve superstardom, makes us realize that everything else in this world is fleeting and that the only thing that matters is love.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Thanks to Y for updating me on this trailer from an old LB post
Film Review: Le Roi de l’evasion
By Duane Byrge, May 19, 2009 05:57 ET
Bottom Line: A slapstick sex comedy on midlife, gay angst.
CANNES — What’s it like to be gay, middle-aged and a traveling tractor salesman in the French boondocks? Clearly, not tres grande. That’s the recipe for this ripe, mid-life crisis comedy about sexual and political mores.
Playing in the Directors’ Fornight, “Le Roi de l’evasion” stars Lucovic Berthillot as Armand, a pudgy solid citizen who has tired of the “gay scene,” such as it is, in his small town. Armand is depressed, napping on the job and binge eating. He’s turned 40 and his life is going nowhere. His employer suggests a vacation, but it’s a chance “rescue” of a 16-year-old girl that snaps him back — or backward, as his friends see it.
After paying off teen thugs to stop harassing a pretty teen, Curly, Armand becomes an unlikely white-knight. The nubile girl develops a huge crush on him and makes strong sexual advances.
Down to story briefs, filmmaker Alain Guiraudie has crafted an amusing and often perceptive comedy about middle-aged gay angst, and he’s stroked it with the most incendiary comic catalyst — the gay man tries to transform his life by becoming bisexual. At the same time, Curly is trying to escape her repressive parents, and latching onto a older male is an obvious outlet.
As one might expect with such a mis-matched pairing, things don’t go swimmingly. However, In this amusement, it makes for some funny, farcical sex as the pudgy Armand and the libidinous school-girl rut around in the woods, unable to truly consummate. The incongruity of it all soon wears thin, as do some other weightier issues — age of consent, civic hypocrisy, simplistic sex-offender laws — that are sprayed into the mix but never coalesce. Unfortunately, Guiraudie merely titillates with these issues, and the film loses potency as the extreme premise ultimately droops.
What keeps it going are the strong performances. As the befuddled Armand, Ludovic Berthillot is sympathetic, while Hafsia Herzi sizzles as the rebellious schoolgirl.
“Le Roi” is most potent in its visual comedy. A series of scenes in which town officials partake of some sort of super root in the woods and then become outrageously aroused, shedding their clothes and performing sexual solos on the spot, are hilarious. Ultimately, “Le Roi de l’ Evasion” evades its more serious underside for its momentary farcical romps.
Middle-aged gay angst? Wow, it looks like a movie tailored for the likes of me. I definitely can’t wait to see it. Here are more photos of the amazingly woofy Ludovic Berthillot…
[Related Posts – Ludovic Berthillot]
My jaws literally dropped when I saw a new blog called Bears In Games hosted by Koobert. I scarfed through all of the 4 podcasts he currently has and they were all freaking fantastic. If you’re a “gaymer,” whether a casual or hardcore one, you should definitely check out this wonderful podcast. Koobert is an awesome host with a great sense of humor. You literally feel like he’s talking right beside you. And his taste in bears, from chubby bears to muscle bears, is just my cup of tea. What are you guys waiting for? Check it out already! This is definitely a monumental FIRST! for us gamers and bear lovers, and we need to support Koobert.
His very first podcast was about Saints Row 2,
a game that I have once posted about here…
In his pocasts, I have learned about the surprising Tom of Finland homosexual subtexts with Final Fight and have witnessed a homophobic douchebag disconnecting his XBOX Live connection after getting pummeled by Koobert’s underwear-wearing musclebear in Soul Calibur IV. I literally jumped out of my chair as I witnessed the homophobe’s humiliating defeat. Awesome job, Koobert!