Seriously, wouldn’t that be amazing? Who wouldn’t want to have a “Weird Science” world where we could just “download” any (and all) of our bear/chub/daddy fantasies in physical form? Though it might not be a reality, video games are acceptable substitutions as CG graphics are quickly becoming realistic as possible… [KEEP ON WOOFIN’!]
The NFL is currently in a sticky bind trying to create a balanced and fair “harsh penalty” for players who would flagrantly hit and intentionally harm other players [ESPN]. I have been following this news and it basically resembles any workplace where management has no clue whatsoever what their employees would go through in their respective jobs. A frustrated defensive player who is being forced to make a split-second decision about the safety of his opponent is no different from any corporate America employee being told by management what to do when they haven’t even experienced their employees’ jobs firsthand at all.
In short, a sure-fire way to have a disgruntled employee is to make his or her job difficult. That’s pretty much the case with any human interactions, whether it be in sports, work, school, and, well, anything else.
However interesting that may be (lol), I am far more concerned with a much sinister and heinous argument that just might bring the NFL to even lower depths: people complaining about the increased exposure of armpits on the football field!
Paul Lukas has a hilarious commentary in his “Uni Watch” segment in ESPN.com called “Simply stated, these jerseys are the pits”:
Of course, being an Armpit Aficionado I am completely against his rally cry against the increased exposure of armpits in the NFL. To combat this, I will selectively choose some of Mr. Lukas’ points so that I could easily contradict him.
Let us begin our battle of “pits,” shall we?
But some players have been pushing the sleeveless style past the limits of visual propriety. For years, the poster child for this look has been Chris Hovan, who’s basically had his jersey tailored like a tank top, revealing more of his body than Uni Watch (or, most likely, anyone) wants to see.
Au contraire, Pepe Le Pew. The NFL is stacked to the brim with magnificent and imposing behemoths whose muscular and stocky builds are completely encumbered by needless jerseys, shoulder pads, and helmets. These men are our living mythical giants who, on any given Sunday, push their strengths and endurance to the limits for our entertainment. They are the wonders of our modern age, gladiators of a brutal sport, and the glue that binds people together as well as a polarizer of cities & communities. That being said, it would be totally awesome if football players were just shirtless. So, yes, there are people out there who actually respect and admire the human form. If a football player like Chris Hovan tailors his jersey like a tanktop, then that’s just a bonus for us fans and non-fans alike. Yes, there are people out there who appreciate Hovan’s armpits. As much as you probably enjoy watching the Lingerie Football League.
3. Ixnay on the exflay. Tired of the recent trend of players flexing like bodybuilders? That’s yet another byproduct of the faux sleeves. Wouldn’t be happening if the players’ upper arms were covered.
Seriously? Your number 3 reason for banning exposed armpits is because it would cause more football players to flex their muscles? And let’s just say that it’s true that all men in the world who wear sleeveless shirts severely suffer from Acute-Muscle-Flexing-Syndrome-Because-I’m-Wearing-A-Wifebeater, then what exactly is wrong with that? Men, especially men of the bigger variety, have the right to be proud of their bodies and strength. Of course there is a time and place to do so, in regards to sportsmanship versus showmanship, but please don’t blame the sleeveless jersey for causing men’s inherent desire to display their Alpha Maleness.
Okay. Now that I have conveniently avoided responding to Mr. Lukas’ finer & compelling points, let me pleasantly end my needless rant with a cavalcade of photos of Chris Hovan’s magnificent and spectacular armpits…
And to end on a finer rose-scented note, here is the Hovan family… Wow. I just love this image.
Rick Zumwalt’s character “Bull Hurley” has been a major factor and influence in my realization that I was attracted towards big and burly men. His larger-than-life portrayal of a very intimidating and powerful arm wrestler is forever embedded in my memory: the red tanktop, the bald head, the thick & sweaty biceps, the perfect goatee, and his aggressively cocky demeanor were the physical features and personality traits that fueled my imagination and “sexual awakening,” if you will.
Well, today, I’d like to introduce to you Mr. Radu “Valahu” Georgescu or as I’d like to think of him as The Romanian Bull Hurley Version 2.0. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Rick Zumwalt may not be physically in this world anymore, but there will be people (from past, present, and future) who will always possess such amazingly similar traits. Radu may not be bald nor possess a goatee, but what a trade-off with that spectacular beard! Jury’s still out with the bandanas though…
Those screenshots from the collage were taken from this YouTube video:
And speaking of my coincidental Bull Hurley comparison, here is Hurley wearing a yellow tanktop and Radu wearing a yellow shirt! OMG like that is so true!
[Related Posts – Rick Zumwalt]
Does actor Josh Gad look like Jack Black with Jonah Hill’s girth and curly hair? You be the judge as Josh Gad briefly impersonates the two actors (with artistic liberties) as a correspondent for The Daily Show in Comedy Central:
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I first noticed him from Season 2, Episode 2 of Showtime’s Bored To Death. And with the following image, it’s going to be very self-evident why I immediately fell in lust with this big and cute cuddly chubby bear…
Finally, check out his Funny Or Die comedy skit as “Jose Sanchez: Workout Guru”… He appears to have a propensity for revealing his armpits as much as possible. And I totally do not have any issues with that. 😉
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I once heard that “Warrick Brant” was Australian for Bear. Or something like that. One thing is for sure though: Warrick Brant is one gigantic monster of a man…
Amongst the many fine physical features that Mr. Brant is endowed with, it is his massive arms and biceps that lure me to his wickedly charming handsomeness. Cases in point:
And he’s also just this big hunk of a teddy bear with a gorgeous, killer smile…
Finally, here are some “select” (well, okay, “shirtless”) videos from Warrick Brant’s YouTube Page:
So there’s a new blog I just started stalking following on Tumblr, and he goes by the nickname of WillZone. I never would have found out about him if the woofy The Pickup Bear did not reblog this photo of WillZone:
I then started to browse through it and, for some reason, the things he would be interested in suddenly became interesting to me as well. The dong works in mysterious ways. Anyway, while browsing his blog, I came upon his awesome video: “Kickass Baby!”
Lol. A Baby Jedi is definitely kickass! And WillZone is definitely one woofy, kickass bear…
Christian Cantwell wins the gold medal during the 12th IAAF World Athletics Championships in Berlin, Germany. My personal favorite, Reese Hoffa, did not do to well during the competition, but it’s great to see Mr. Cantwell getting the gold.
Thank you to HBL01 for pointing this video out to us.
Adam Nelson, Reese Hoffa, Ralf Bartels, Christian Cantwell, mmm, mmm, mmm…
And what happens when you win the gold? You flex your muscles, of course. Here are some gorgeous photos of Christian in all of his arm flexing glory…