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Posts Tagged ‘lineman’

Casey Hampton: HOLY *Insert Blubbering Sounds* MOLEY!

February 8, 2011 Leave a comment

Dear ESPN Magazine: OMG.  Thank you!

I was pretty harsh on ESPN Magazine’s 2010’s “The Body Issue” when Steven Holcomb’s godly physique was digitally altered.  However, thanks to GE, he pinpointed me to ESPN Magazine’s “The Body Issue 2009: Battle Scars” which featured a close-up of Casey Hampton’s magnificent belly.  Needless to say, seeing an almost-nude image of Mr. Hampton is an excellent way to win someone like me over — even though this was shot a year before the Holcomb-Gate fiasco.  ^___^

Here is the link to the Flash Gallery of “The Body Issue 2009: Battle Scars”:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/flash/zoomGallery?section=gen&photoGalleryId=4539757

I can’t seem to embed this ESPN video, but you can briefly see him in an interview with all of the athletes — including Randy Couture — involved in that photo shoot.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4536463

Unfortunately, the Pittsburgh Steelers did not win the SuperBowl this year, so we’re gonna miss out on seeing a shirtless Casey Hampton at a SuperBowl Parade…  😦

The Case Against The Increased Exposure Of Armpits In The NFL

October 22, 2010 5 comments

The NFL is currently in a sticky bind trying to create a balanced and fair “harsh penalty” for players who would flagrantly hit and intentionally harm other players [ESPN].  I have been following this news and it basically resembles any workplace where management has no clue whatsoever what their employees would go through in their respective jobs.  A frustrated defensive player who is being forced to make a split-second decision about the safety of his opponent is no different from any corporate America employee being told by management what to do when they haven’t even experienced their employees’ jobs firsthand at all.

In short, a sure-fire way to have a disgruntled employee is to make his or her job difficult.  That’s pretty much the case with any human interactions, whether it be in sports, work, school, and, well, anything else.

However interesting that may be (lol), I am far more concerned with a much sinister and heinous argument that just might bring the NFL to even lower depths: people complaining about the increased exposure of armpits on the football field!

Stephen Peterman

Paul Lukas has a hilarious commentary in his “Uni Watch” segment in ESPN.com called “Simply stated, these jerseys are the pits”:

Of course, being an Armpit Aficionado I am completely against his rally cry against the increased exposure of armpits in the NFL.  To combat this, I will selectively choose some of Mr. Lukas’ points so that I could easily contradict him.

Let us begin our battle of “pits,” shall we?

But some players have been pushing the sleeveless style past the limits of visual propriety. For years, the poster child for this look has been Chris Hovan, who’s basically had his jersey tailored like a tank top, revealing more of his body than Uni Watch (or, most likely, anyone) wants to see.

Au contraire, Pepe Le Pew.  The NFL is stacked to the brim with magnificent and imposing behemoths whose muscular and stocky builds are completely encumbered by needless jerseys, shoulder pads, and helmets.  These men are our living mythical giants who, on any given Sunday, push their strengths and endurance to the limits for our entertainment.  They are the wonders of our modern age, gladiators of a brutal sport, and the glue that binds people together as well as a polarizer of cities & communities.  That being said, it would be totally awesome if football players were just shirtless.  So, yes, there are people out there who actually respect and admire the human form.  If a football player like Chris Hovan tailors his jersey like a tanktop, then that’s just a bonus for us fans and non-fans alike.  Yes, there are people out there who appreciate Hovan’s armpits.  As much as you probably enjoy watching the Lingerie Football League.

3. Ixnay on the exflay. Tired of the recent trend of players flexing like bodybuilders? That’s yet another byproduct of the faux sleeves. Wouldn’t be happening if the players’ upper arms were covered.

Seriously?  Your number 3 reason for banning exposed armpits is because it would cause more football players to flex their muscles?  And let’s just say that it’s true that all men in the world who wear sleeveless shirts severely suffer from Acute-Muscle-Flexing-Syndrome-Because-I’m-Wearing-A-Wifebeater, then what exactly is wrong with that?  Men, especially men of the bigger variety, have the right to be proud of their bodies and strength.  Of course there is a time and place to do so, in regards to sportsmanship versus showmanship, but please don’t blame the sleeveless jersey for causing men’s inherent desire to display their Alpha Maleness.

Okay.  Now that I have conveniently avoided responding to Mr. Lukas’ finer & compelling points, let me pleasantly end my needless rant with a cavalcade of photos of Chris Hovan’s magnificent and spectacular armpits…

And to end on a finer rose-scented note, here is the Hovan family…  Wow.  I just love this image.

Richie Incognito: Quite Possibly The Ideal Model Of A Football Biggin

September 29, 2009 1 comment
Richie Incognito rams 22

Nice job #71!

I’ve posted about Richie Incognito quite a few times.  You guys can’t blame me as he is one magnificent specimen of a stunning football biggin.  And I must post this today because we actually have a video interview, ladies and gents…  (He talks about last year’s incident when he taunted the St. Louis Rams’ fans after their 27-3 loss to the Chicago Bears.)

Richie Incognito taunts fansBrett Romberg and Richie Incognito

Richie Incognito rams 21

Richie Incognito rams 23

You're benched #90! Next time, take notes from #71 on how to properly reveal Incognito's belly!

Richie Incognito rams 24

Richie Incognito rams 25

Richie Incognito rams 20

[Related Posts – Richie Incognito]

Goonday Moonday: Stephen Peterman

September 28, 2009 4 comments

Stephen Peterman

Now if there is a face that makes you want to describe as a “bullgoon,” then my dear friends that above photo of Stephen Peterman is a perfect example.  I finally got to know who he was; I once posted his “unknown” photo here: Sometimes, You Just Wanna Say “Awwww”…  But as a refresher, here is that unknown favorite photo again…

LSU Tigers @ the 2004 Sugar Bowl.

Speaking of LSU Tigers, chubby wonder twins John Goodman and Paul Rae are huge fans.

Stephen Peterman collage

Stephen Peterman was then drafted by the Dallas Cowboys but he is currently playing for the Detroit Lions.  Speaking of which, Detroit just got their first win yesterday, ending their 19-game losing streak (they haven’t won since December 23, 2007).

DETROIT - DECEMBER 09: Stephen Peterman #66 of the Detroit Lions runs into the arena against the Dallas Cowboys on December 9, 2007 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

DETROIT - DECEMBER 09: Stephen Peterman #66 of the Detroit Lions runs into the arena against the Dallas Cowboys on December 9, 2007 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

Stephen Peterman Detroit Lions 2

Lions Camp Football

Stephen Peterman Lions 07

This was the photo that assisted me in googling his name...

This was the photo that assisted me in googling his name. Thanks, coach...

NFL MANIA 2009 (Shirtless Saturday): Casey Hampton

September 19, 2009 7 comments

Casey Hampton shirtless 201from AxsDeny Flickr Photostream

I’ve posted about Casey Hampton before, but I had to save his awesome shirtless photos just for this day.  But before we continue, here’s a video of the massively beautiful and shirtless Casey at the SuperBowl XLIII Champions Parade.

The above video of Pittsburgh Steelers’ defensive tackle is unfortunately blurry, so here’s a short interview of the big guy.  He might not be shirtless, but he’s got to be viewed as clearly as possible.

And as we resume our regularly-scheduled program, here are the amazing shirtless photos of our deliciously chubby football player that my great friend, D.T., has found and shared for us…

Casey Hampton superbowl parade 01

And if you are looking for more photos of this handsome bear, let me direct you to the Flickr Hive Mind.  I am so obsessed with this Flickr feature that I’ve lost sleep over it.  Experiment with differing keywords when you’re “researching” for our spectacular biggins; who knows what awesome discoveries you’ll find…

Casey Hampton superbowl parade 02

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NFL MANIA: Jeff Saturday

September 16, 2009 7 comments

Jeff Saturday Real Men Wear Pink 01

No funny jokes nor innuendos here.  It’s awesome to know that Jeff Saturday is supporting a good cause to raise awareness and money in finding a cure for breast cancer.  Thank you to Clarian Health for these fantastic photos from Susan G. Komen’s Race For The Cure event on April 18, 2009.

Jeff Saturday Real Men Wear Pink

Jeff Saturday Real Men Wear Pink 02

Jeff Saturday Real Men Wear Pink 03a

Let’s end this with Jeff Saturday sharing a part of himself through his autographs.

Jeff Saturday autograph 01afrom SDParrett Flickr Photostream

Jeff Saturday autograph 02afrom Taylor Groneck Flickr Photostream

Jeff Saturday autograph 03

Jeff Saturday autograph 04

The boy couldn't help but stare at Jeff's vibrantly sheen and lengthy eyelashes

Jeff Saturday autograph 05from Terri.Mahan Flickr Photostream

And, finally, I want to send a big shout out to Dwight Supremacy for this magnificent Jeff Saturday scan from ESPN Magazine.  WOW!

Jeff Saturday ESPN magazine

NFL MANIA 2009: Justin Smiley

September 16, 2009 3 comments

Justin Smiley training camp 01

Justin Smiley is currently a guard for the Miami Dolphins.  He has this eternally babyface look and a killer smile to boot.  But don’t be deceived, this beast is one mean mutha…

Justin Smiley lines up for the snap

Justin Smiley loose ball

I’ve posted a shirtless photo of Justin Smiley from an old post, but here is the original unedited photo from Ivory Tower Tattoo Studios:

https://i1.wp.com/www.ivorytowertattoo.com/newsmanager/data/upimages/JustinSmiley.jpg

Here are further photographic evidence proving that this husky bear is unanimously guilty for being adorably and unbearably handsome…

Justin Smiley 49ers 01from icedtazo Flickr Photostream

Justin Smiley 49ers 02from jimrat201 Flickr Photostream

And if you want videographic evidence, check out Justin Smiley’s Miami Dolphin’s Bio.  Here’s a direct link to his videos.  (These videos are so embedded that I was wondering if anybody out there knows how we can save these videos…)

Justin Smiley interview 01

And as we resume with the photographic evidence, here’s a photo set from dolphinstouchdownclub Flickr Photostream:

Justin Smiley Dolphins 01

Justin Smiley Dolphins 02

Justin Smiley Dolphins 03

Justin Smiley Dolphins 04

Finally, let’s end with my favorite photo here:

Miami Dolphins Fishing Day

I'm a sucker for such bluish scenery...